Sincerely, Skwisgaar
by Klokateers
Summary: After Magnus takes Toki away, Skwisgaar starts writing letters to cope.
1. You Shoulds Have Known

**Disclaimer: I don't own Metalocalypse or any of the characters.**

* * *

Dears Toki,

Things haves changed a lots since you left. Everyone ams lots quieters. We don't talks about you much. Hells, we don't talks about anythings much anymore.

We don'ts plays anymore. I mean, how coulds we withouts you? (I'ms not sayings you're a goods guitar player. Just that I can't plays both our parts at the sames time.)

Evens when we ams just hangings out, everyone ams sad. Your chair in the dinings room ams still there. Your video games ams still in the livings room. Nobodys sits in your place in the hotstub. Your rooms ams the same; cleans and tidy just like hows you lefts it. Deddy ams still sittings on your beds. It ams all waitings for you to comes back. We ams waitings too.

Everyones ams sayings you ams stills alive. I'ms not sure they actually knows for sure though. There ams always the short silence right befores anyone says anythings about you, and the sames nervous undertone in theirs voice. I hopes you ams stills alive, I don'ts want to haves to look for a new guitarsist again. Thats was bad enoughs last time.

Somestime when nobody ams around, I goes to your room and knocks on the door. I knows you ams not there to answer, but it makes me feels better. Likes before.

I hopes you ams okay so we can goes on tour agains once you comes back. Buts then agains, I don't feel bads for you. We warned yous against Magnus.

Sincerely,

Skwisgaar

* * *

**AN: This one is short, but the chapters will be longer as the story progresses. I promise.**

**And sorry if I'm butchering his accent, I'm trying my best T-T;**


	2. Keeps It Bottled Up

Dears Toki,

Last nights I went tos your room. I just sats by the door fors a while thinkings, buts then I caught Pickle walkings out. He trieds to makes up excuses for beings there. So dids I. We boths know whys we were there, but we can'ts admits it. It ams not metal.

Buts I realized somethings then. If you ams not here to talks about our feelings, no ones will. That ams how people goes insane, keepings everything bottleds up. You was the only things keeping us from goings mad. Now that you ams not here... who knows whats will happen. That's why I keeps writings these letters to you.

Everythings ams fallings apart withouts you. Everys day at dinner, no one talks. We just sit and looks at eachother, thens where you shoulds be, then backs at eachother. Ones time, Nat'ins has slipped up and saids "Toki, you cans clear the table." I hads to leave the room. I wasn't cryings or anything, that ams for pussies. I just... didn't wants to get stuck cleanings up. That's alls.

Charles said we woulds start feelings better if we started playings musics again. Well, he was wrongs. Nat'ins asked me to plays your part, but I saids no. What ams we supposed to do, not haves solos? The musics didn't sounds right, I guess I'ms just used to hearing your guitars next to me. Even if your playing ams dildos. Anysway, Charles saids we still have to haves daily practice sos we're ready to plays when you gets back.

The others day I was the only ones in the livingrooms, so I thought I'd try playings your video game. You know, the ones where you dance around? Well, I trieds it. I didn't likes it, I couldn't get my feet to the arrows fast enoughs. I'll admits it, that game ams the only thing you ams better than me ats. I don'ts care though, it ams a dumb game.

Lately I haven'ts been sleeping goods. It takes foresever to falls asleep, and then whens I finally do, I get wakes'd up by even the littlest noises. I haven'ts been having lots of ladies over, eithers. Just haven't beens in the mood.

Sometimes when I'm waitings to falls asleep I see shadows go bys my room. I'ms not exactly sure, but I thinks it ams the guys going to checks on your room. I hopes you amn'ts mad that we goes in your room. We just... needs to. You woulds know too, if you weres in this situatkins.

I wonder how you ams, where ever you ams. Ams Abigail keepings you company? Do you haves foods to eat, and enough of your insulins shots?

I'ms sures you do. I need to stops worrying.

By the way, I'ms only concerned abouts the future of the bands. Nots you.

Sees you soon (hopefullys),

Skwisgaar

* * *

**AN: More to come~**

**Also, Skwisgaar is so tsundere it hurts.**


	3. Sicksness

Dears Toki,

I haven't beens feelings very greats lately. I'ves not been hungry, sos I haven'ts been eatings withs the rest of the band. Whens I do eat, I feels sick. I even throws up a couple of times. I cans barely sleeps at all now, so I'ms always tireds and grumpy feelings. I can'ts even picks up my guitar anymores. It just amn'ts interesting. I feels like I'ms somesone else. I ams glad you amn'ts here to sees me like this.

I mostly just stays in my room now. I usuallys stays in my beds all day, but somestime I look out the window. I keeps having rememberings of you. Remembers when I trys to teach you hows to play guitar? I was maybes a little hards on you, buts we hads a lots of fun. I still laughs about when I droppeds paint on your head. Ors the time whens you got my solo at the ice festivals and you hads your panic attack? I was sos afraids that I was goings to lose you. That ams kinds of how I ams feelings now, but I still has hopes that we wills find yous, but Charles ams sayings that progress ams slow.

I don't miss yous that much, I ams onlys gettings sick. Ifs I amn'ts feeling better in a few days, I'll goes to the doctor. I'ms okays, though. Just a little annoyeds. Why's all this bad stuff happenings at the sames time?

By the way, I borroweds deddy from you's room. I didn't wants him to gets lonely in there, so he sits on my dressers now. He keeps me companys; no one else seems to want to bes around me anymores.

I'ms stills waitings for you.

Skwisgaar

* * *

**AN: Sorry this one was so short. I know what I want to do for the ending, just no clue how to go about getting there. I've been suffering from major writer's block, that's why this took so long.**

**I actually looked up symptoms of anxiety for this! Look at me, putting in effort! Woo!**


	4. Needs You Here

Dears Toki,

I thinks I ams gettings more sicker. I wents to the doctor likes I said, but he says I ams fines.

I can'ts even thinks straight anymores. My thoughts am goings a krillions billions miles per hour.

I admits it. I ams startings to miss you a little.

Last nights whens I finally fells asleep, I hads a nightmare. I don't remembers it completely, buts it was somethings like what happened whens Magnus tooks you away. I hads to watch you gets stabbed agains. And agains. And agains. I wokesed up and puked.

Anysway, deddy stays with me ins my bed, now. He looksed lonely overs there ons my dresser. He misses yous too, you knows.

Charles trieds comings into my rooms to talks with me, but I yelleds at him to leave. I saids I wanted to be lefts alone. I don'ts know why I dids that. I don'ts wants to be alone. But thens again, he amn'ts the one I wants to see.

I trieds leaving my rooms the others day. I just wandereds. I endeds up in the livings room where everyones was watching TVs. Whens I cames in, they just stareds at me likes I was some hideous creatures. I was mads at first, but thens when I gots back to my rooms I lookeds in the mirror. My hairs hads not been brushed, I hads not shaved, my eyes was all reds and puffed up. I evens had a littles bit of vomits dried to my face. I really hads been a hideous creatures. I decideds that I'll just stays in here until yous gets back.

I trieds playing my guitars again to clears my mind, but it's like my brains forgets how to. My hands ams too shakeys to play the notes, anysway. I guess I needs you here sos I have motivations to practice. With only ones guitarist, we don'ts gots to worry abouts the rhythm tryings to take overs the leads, now dos we?

The ladies ams stopped comings over completelys. Evens whens I didn'ts invites them over, they still showeds up at my rooms, askings for sex. I sents the last fews away because I wasn'ts in the mood. I guess they tolds them's friends, because now they don't evens shows up at all.

I calleds one of the klokateers and asked if they knew where you weres yet. They saids that they thinks they have you's location and will be sendings rescue teams soons. This mades me feel a littles bit better. You'lls be homes soon, my friend.

I needs you back here to yells at me to stops doings this. To makes me take a shower. To makes me practice my's guitar. To makes me be mes again.

It's goods to know's you'll be homes soon.

Loves,

Skwisgaar

* * *

**AN: I am genuinely sorry that I am incapable of writing long chapters. I need to work on that.**

**Anyway, I'm sick of dragging this on and I am 100% out of ideas, so the next chapter will be the last one. That's right, get excited.**


End file.
